I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
