I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
