Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
