I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
