There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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