he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
