This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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