I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
