Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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