My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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