I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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