So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
