What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
