i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
