This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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