She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
