Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
