Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
