Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
