Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
