Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude i'm inner monologue high
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
