whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
