I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
