So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Blood and glitter go together right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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