hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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