Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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