Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
