Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
