Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
