i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
