I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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