So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
