in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i can run in heels then i can drive
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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