k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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