I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We got so high we made milksteak
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
