Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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