Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
