We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All I want is dick and wine.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
