I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
