So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
