I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
