Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
