He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You ruined the universe
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
