wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
