Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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