On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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