So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
