i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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