To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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