Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
