Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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