I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
