Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
