He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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