I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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