Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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