i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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