You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
