Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
