OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
