Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
